Happy Valentine’s Day!  We thought it would be appropriate to share with you some advice on building and maintaining a healthy relationship or marriage from some of our fantastic counselors. 

Sawyer Nix emphasized the importance of intentional communication, beyond discussions about your schedule. Taking at least five minutes a day to have an intentional conversation about your life with your significant other, without the distraction of technology is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship, and will prove beneficial when conflict arises. 

Holly Spiars discussed expectations. She raised the question, “how important is it for you to be right?,” and encourages you to filter your expectations. Sometimes, she says, you have to let go of control and be flexible to make a relationship, or marriage, work. In addition, she mentions that if unmet expectations were never spoken, you do not have the right to be angry.  For further reinforcement, she recommends Philippians 2. 

Kate Earle’s message is that “a fruitful marriage requires the faithful tilling and work to produce the fruits of love, joy, and peace within the relationship. Most individuals set their gaze on the fruits of a healthy marriage (love, companionship, etc.), but fail to recognize the necessity of the work required to bear such fruit. A huge part of this work involves sacrificing your own desires for the benefit of your spouse. Another part of this work requires communication on part of both parties. Ultimately, our model for how to produce a healthy marriage is the example of how Christ depicts his love for the church, in which sacrifice, communication, and great care is exemplified.”

John Nolette compared relationships to harmony in music. He said, “ in music, harmony is often defined as a combination of musical notes or sounds that blend to produce a pleasing sound. A musician or singer is focused on their part and does not miss a single note. The end result is a perfect sound that transcends time. In marriage, harmony requires the same level of focus and attention. Two people doing their part to love and serve one another. The result just like in music is two parts perfectly blended surpassing all expectations and lasting for a lifetime.”

We hope that you had a lovely Valentine’s Day with the ones that you love.