“You Matter” is Not Enough

“You Matter” is Not Enough

You are loved.

You matter.

You are important.


While these phrases seem kind and beneficial, they are often not enough to help the person who is deeply struggling. Someone enveloped in the dark cloud of depression will likely discount every statement. You may say, “you are loved.” She will internally respond with, “you wouldn’t love me if you really knew me.” “You matter” becomes “my family doesn’t seem to care. No one cares what I do or where I am. No one is interested in my life.” “You are important” gets turned into “I am replaceable.” 


I have a challenge for us all (yes, I am including myself!): qualify the statement. Tell the person in front of you why they are loved. Tell her why she matters. Tell him why he is important. Don’t assume they know. And this goes for all of the people in our lives, not just the ones we think are struggling. 


Husbands, tell your wives why you love them. Mothers, tell your children why they matter. Sister, tell your sister why she is important to you. Manager, tell your people individually why they are important. Be specific. Be honest. Do not let your people go unnoticed.


How will you use this and offer hope to others this week?


Ideas for application:

Write a note and leave it for your spouse

Give a social media shoutout to a friend/family member

Send a thank you of encouragement to someone important to you

Send a text to a friend

Verbally tell your person what they mean to you

Develop a timeline of significant events in life and show your person how he/she impacted your life


Please share with us your own ideas, too!






Why Counseling?

Why Counseling?

“Life has been so stressful lately. Well, not even just lately. It seems like life has always beenthis way. I can’t catch a break.”

“I’m hurting and I can’t figure out how to tell someone – or who to tell. The thoughts just keepcoming and I don’t know how to stop them. I’m tired of feeling this way. I feel so alone.”

“Life is scary. I am constantly bombarded by the ‘what ifs’. Panic hits me out of nowhere and Idon’t know what to do. I just want to run.”

“I’m not sure how to communicate with my child. He just seems so angry and doesn’t want totalk.”

“Food seems to be the enemy. But I love it. But it hates me. The struggle is real.”

“I feel like my spouse doesn’t understand me anymore. It’s as though we are just roommatesthese days.”

If any of these thoughts have crossed your mind, counseling may be helpful to you. The wholeconcept of counseling has grown through the years, though many are still uncertain as to whatis involved. The basics of it are: we are here to help.

Most of us go to the doctor when we are in physical pain. Why? Why go to a doctor and not justread a book on pain? Because the doctor is trained to help figure out what is wrong and how totreat it. Do doctors have all of the answers? No, but they have the tools necessary to point us inthe right direction for relief and solutions.

Much is the same with counseling. Counselors are trained with the tools necessary to help pointus in the right direction when we are in emotional and mental pain. So why not go to a counselorwhen symptoms arise?

We are all going to face something in life that is challenging to get through. Having a greatemotional and spiritual support system during such times is essential to our ability to cope.However, sometimes, we need someone with specific training to come alongside us to help usnavigate the thoughts and emotions that come with challenges. And that is what we, ascounselors, are seeking to do – help you work through the thoughts and emotions on your pathto hope and healing. (At RHC, we do so from our own personal foundation of faith in Christ.While we do not force our beliefs on our clients, we know that the source of our hope is Jesus.)

Whether you are super stressed with life or dealing with intense grief or anything in between,our goal is to offer you hope. Our job is not to judge or tell you what to do. We want to offer youa safe space to feel what you need to feel and work through what is necessary to be a healthieryou.

Warning: counseling can be hard work. But a lot of hope and healing may be found in the hard.Which makes the effort worth it.

So now the question is for you to answer: why counseling?